How identifying with behaviours can prevent you from changing them.

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For many years I have struggled with low energy and fatigue. I wake up feeling like death every morning without fail and am incapable of functioning on any level without several large mugs of coffee (strong, black). It is, without any doubt, the thing I dislike most about my life.

I have spent a good part of the energy I do have, trying to find a solution. I have tried many diets, supplements and mindset techniques. I even got an ADHD diagnosis and tried stimulant medication.

Do you know the one thing I haven’t ever tried with any consistency? …

A short story

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A thin smile cracked his face as the slight figure came into view. Hood pulled down low, shoulders hunched, a small bag clutched to her chest. He watched as she hurried from lamppost to lamppost. Her downward gaze broken only by intermittent glances behind her.

Typical, he thought. They’re always paranoid. Fuck knows why. They’ve got everything these days. Entitled bitches. He allowed himself a wry chuckle. Still, at least after today she’ll have something to be paranoid about.

He stayed out of sight until she’d walked a few yards past the alley where he was standing. Then stepped out…


How a childhood friendship has shaped my life.

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This is a deeply personal story, and I’ve been in two minds about whether to publish it. But I’ve decided that it should be in the world. If it reaches anyone else who can relate even a little to my experience and helps them to feel slightly less alone, that will be worthwhile.

Honestly, I still can’t decide whether this is truly harrowing to read or just a pretty normal experience of growing up that I’m totally blowing out of proportion. I flit between the two constantly. Anyway, here goes.

The single most traumatic event of my life was breaking…

My favourite technique to help me stop worrying

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I have suffered from anxiety for many years. Through a great deal of reading, therapy, and writing, I have found that the technique that best helps me stop worrying is to notice that I’m telling myself stories. Then I can work to replace the worry with more productive thought patterns.

This article will explain what this looks like in practice and give you a technique you can use to challenge these stories and address your own anxiety.

What is worrying, and why do we do it?

The dictionary defines “worry” as “to feel or cause to feel anxious or troubled about actual or potential problems “. Whilst accurate, I…

A step-by-step guide to what I did and why.

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Writing on Medium is a fantastic way to find and connect with readers.

However, there are reasons you might not want to keep all your writing solely on Medium. In particular, there is always a risk that you could lose access to your Medium account for any number of reasons. Were that to happen, you could lose access to your content and your followers, potentially without warning.

Plus its a lot of fun to set up a space that is all yours and you can do whatever you want with. …

A story

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No new tombs had been discovered for decades now. Most explorers had long since moved on to more lucrative sites. The persistent few dug in hope of uncovering a collection of trinkets perhaps, crumbs that had been overlooked by those going before. Most, like Alex, were students or hobbyists, just there for the experience and atmosphere. No-one present was prepared even slightly for what came next.

When it happened there was no great shout. No hubbub of excitement. Just a sudden silence that swept across the land like a blanket. For what seemed like an age no-one moved a muscle…

This is a really useful guide with loads to think about - I have saved for future reference!

I loved this! Written very authentically ;-)

I relate to so much of this though, life is always a project right??

Five things I never thought about before I had children

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There are many things about parenting which you can never truly know or understand until you have children of your own. How much your life will really change. How true sleep deprivation feels. How you’ll long for a chance to use the bathroom alone. And then cry the first time you do.

But there are some things that don’t seem to be in any of the parenting books, and that no-one really warns you about at all. Yet they have had the biggest impact on my life and the way I am able to parent my children.

1. They want to touch you ALL the time

Babies and children…

Why I don’t practice gratitude, and what I do instead.

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Gratitude is the golden child of mental health and self-help right now. A simple thing that everyone can do that is virtually guaranteed to increase your happiness. There is a flourishing market in gratitude journals and apps that promise to help you to develop this magical habit and change your life. There are even scientific studies that prove its effectiveness.

So what can I possibly have against this wonderful concept that brings so much happiness to people around the planet? How can there possibly be a downside to gratitude? Well, funnily enough, it basically comes down to grammar.

I admit it, I’m a pedant

I know…

Melinda Heyer

Writing to slay the static in my head, and help others do the same.

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